Divorce

     The last column covered marital advice; this one follows up with advice for those divorcing. We don’t mean to say that marriages always end in divorce: merely that divorces happen and the library has materials on the subject. We also offer children’s materials to help divorcing parents answer their children’s questions and fears.  That will be the subject of a future column.
     Deborah Moskovitch's The smart divorce: proven strategies and valuable advice from 100 top divorce lawyers, financial advisors, counselors, and other experts is highly recommended by many professionals.  Moskovitch has experienced divorce herself, and she includes personal pointers and insight as well as excellent advice from the experts in the field.
     Part expose, part self-help, Deidre Bair’s Calling it quits: late-life divorce and starting over is particularly useful for those contemplating a divorce after decades of marriage. A collection of actual breakups, Bair has researched each relationship by talking extensively to the couple as well as their adult children. The exposes are the stereotypical rich men finding trophy wife substitutes—over and over, apparently.  Wives of the rich and famous, beware!
     Rebuilding: when your relationship ends, by Bruce Fisher, has been so popular that it is currently in its third edition with 700,000 copies in print and an accompanying workbook. Recommended by most experts in marital counseling, this book is on order but should be on the shelf soon.
     Crazy time: surviving divorce and rebuilding a new life, revised edition, by Abigail Trafford is also on order. This book is widely hailed as a common-sense help to those going through the emotional upheaval of a divorce.  Most readers found help for their emotional difficulties as well as for all the decisions that must be made.
     One of the most common requests heard in the library reference department is for the “book of Michigan divorce forms.”  While we also own copies that check out, the reference desk has both versions of this book available for use in the department, in case all other copies are checked out. One version has forms for families with minor children; the other contains forms for those without minor children. The book’s actual title is The Michigan divorce book by Michael Maran. It is often recommended by local government entities to those divorcing—the resource is complete and up-to-date.  Individuals can photocopy the necessary forms on library photocopiers for 10 cents a copy.
     Ideally, no one wants or plans a divorce, but when they happen, expert advice can make everything much easier and less traumatic.  We don’t have the space here to list all the materials the library owns which can help those going through the difficulties of a marital breakup, so please check the online computer catalog or ask your librarian for more suggestions.

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